I speak with a lot of empaths, sensitives and lightworkers during the course of my work and there is one thing that has stood out for me from these conversations. Empaths attract narcissists. I know as I have met my fair share in my time, but what I have learnt is how to deal with them and what they are all about.

So why do empaths attract narcissists? Well the empath is a healer and takes on the pain of others. They want to fix people and make everything right for them. The narcissist is generally wounded in some way and hence the attraction between the healer and the wounded. The narcissist is a master manipulator and will do whatever it takes to get everything their own way. The empath just cannot understand how people can act in a bad way towards others because they can feel what the other person would feel but they need to realise that other people are not like them. This took me a while to get my head around as I would often think to myself “how could he do this to me” when dealing with my narcissist in the past.

I learnt to think like a narcissist and play mind games. You have to be one step ahead and think “what would I do if I was a manipulative and nasty so and so”. You need to think what their next move might be so you can stop it before it happens. The narcissist wants to keep the empath as low as possible so that they can feel superior – they need external validation, so watching you suffer is actually enjoyable for them.

If you are in a relationship with a narcissist and you are waiting for things to get better and for them to change, they won’t. The relationship just gets more and more destructive, mine became so destructive that police finally became involved. I think it is incredibly important for empaths to learn about the traits of narcissists so that they can learn to spot one quickly before getting too emotionally involved.

Having spent a number of years living with a narcissist and working for the police where I dealt with narcissistic personalities every day my radar is on and I can see through the facade so that I never make the same mistake again. Usually as empaths we get an intuitive feeling about someone but we often do not trust that first feeling. My advice is develop your intuitive muscle so that you never have to go through the pain of a narcissistic relationship.