As I sit in the office in a job, I don’t want to do I wonder why does my business not work, where are the clients? I am talented and good at what I do and yet the business stays small, I stay small. I go to do a marketing post on Facebook, and I feel this overwhelming fear – what if they don’t like me. So, like a scared little mouse, I retreat to the safety of the 9 to 5. But inside I am dying. My soul is shouting at me to get out and share my magick with the world. I quieten down my soul with a glass of wine and some chocolate. Ssshhh be still soul.
Money does not flow, it is like a yoyo. There then gone, there then gone. I am craving for change, to do what makes me happy. The FEAR. STOPS. ME. EVERY. TIME. Whoa there, Sister, who are you to teach people to rise, who are you to weave your magick over other people to change their lives. OK, OK yeah, I get it. I will just stay here safe in my job, being a robot and making other people money. I dampen down my FIRE over and over again.
Every time my Phoenix rises from the ashes, someone catches it and locks it away in a box. There you go, safe in the box. Stay there. Fire is burney, ouch! Better to be safe than sorry.
And then I took a journey back in time. I saw it so clearly then. The flames lapping around me. Everyone laughing and jeering at me. Prodding me with sticks. Death was painful. The memories stored deep in my subconscious, unlocked for just that moment. No wonder I was scared. Who wouldn’t be? A witch burned at the stake for her beliefs and passion. The fear runs deep. I understand now, I get it, I forgive them and let it go. I left part of me here in that life. My soul splintered into fragments, the trauma too much to deal with. I vowed never to let my light shine again, just in case. Of course, it all makes sense now. Unless I deal with the big bad wolf at the door, I will never be free.
Processed and reprogrammed I immediately feel lighter. That fear no longer holds me fast and stops me walking into the flames. This time I know that shining my light will not result in my demise. I will not be murdered. I am ok, I am safe, I am free.
Don’t let your past define your future. I turned it around. I stopped being scared. I got out of my own way. I shone my light so bright it’s fucking blinding.
You can too.